do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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