thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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