Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
