the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
the day after is always just damage control
I got her a Nickelback box set.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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