My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
