so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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