I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
