every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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