dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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