I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Randomize
