I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
