i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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