I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
