Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Randomize
