Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Randomize
