Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
