I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
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