Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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