R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
