she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
