I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize