So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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