I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
