Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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