oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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