Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Quick, to the slutcave!
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
please don't ironically join a cult
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