youre lurking in front of me
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Nicole vs. Life
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Randomize
