He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
