i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
