I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
