I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
