maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
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I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
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Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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