I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
