she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
