you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
