thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
