Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
