hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
