I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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