That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
