You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
