lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
