Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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