i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
what day is it and did you see me today?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
