That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
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