a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
