my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize