discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
