No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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