Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I seem to have left my pride at pride
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
