K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
