No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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