I like to think it a success when the cops are called
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
