I must be too annoying 4 u.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
