Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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