so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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