While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
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