she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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