Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
