Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
