Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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