i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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