margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I'm really into asian looking animals
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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